Burning Questions

So lately I have noticed something. I feel like I have talked...well graced this question/topic before, but I really need to get it out there. I have noticed that most people I know support gender and sexuality equality. I want to say, I'm proud to know so many supporters.

With that though comes this...why is it still such a big deal?! Why isn't it just something normal now. Like, are you bothering me? Are you hurting me? NO! You're going about your business causing no harm, just being gay. (trying through some punning humor in this....working?) Now, it is different when you have that ones that ruin it for everyone, but you have that for anything. There is always a jerk. Even in your group of friends you have at least one jerk!

Get with the times people.

With that, I know some trans people and there is one thing I've come to notice. (in talking with them and others!) That is, if you don't know if you're comfortable enough to ask a question, or if you're unsure if it'll offend them...DON'T ASK. Like, seriously. I hate it when I have a zit and someone is like "what's that? Something is on your face." YEAH THANKS I KNOW. Seriously. Did you have to point that out?
The inter-web is a wonderful thing. USE IT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING.

Again, this doesn't effect everyone. I do know some people that are so open about everything, they don't care. However, as a good rule of thumb, just keep it in mind that if you're unsure if it's okay to ask...it might not be okay to ask.
Now one of my very good friends is going through a transition and I know I can ask him anything and everything and he will never get upset. Then again, I know a few others that I'm friends with, but I do watch what I ask out of respect.
Another thing to keep in mind: it's all in the way you ask! It's easy to tell when someone truly is curious and wants to know and when someone is taking a hit. Please nice. Seriously.


I don't know. That's just been something on my mind lately. People are so rude. They see things in one light and that's that. Just because something is the way you like it, or the way you do things doesn't mean it's the only way.

A short.

Derby derby derby.

I took my LOA or leave of absence. I was hoping I wouldn't have too, but it was time to come with terms, I might not be skating for a while.
With that being said....NSOing is wonderful.

This past week I learned how to score keep! It's a lot easier than I thought it would be (good think I know most of the hand signals from the refs already), but it does take math skills and lets' just say...I don't math well.

Long story short, I'm happy to be doing something with derby.

On the other side of things, while NSO-ing I had a really good talk about gender and sexuality. Derby people just get it. I love that.

Disney--Choices...the longest week ever

This past week as been one heck of a week. Let's just leave it at that.

I got my offer for the DCP and yes, I was very happy. As well as being happy I was shocked and faced with a very hard choice. I could go and then come back, sure. However, things at my current job wouldn't be the same.

Long story short, after many talks with my family and many tears later, it was best to leave the dream of working for Disney just that.

I don't feel like I need to explain myself and why I made this decision. I talked to my co-workers, my family, friends, and people who had just done the program. I did my homework, made lists of pros and cons and when it came down to it there was only one answer.

I'm at a happy place in life; something that hasn't happened in a long time. I'm not going to waste my happiness for the unknown. 

I don't care if you agree or disagree. I've had struggles, like many, and I'm finally at a really good place. At the end of the day I don't want to change things at the moment. Change is normal and will have to happen sooner or later and I understand that. However, my life has changed and for the better. 

Let the dream be a dream. 

On the other hand, I've decided that I am going to travel and do whatever I want this year. I'm planning a trip to New York (probably next year, but I'm saving). Just going places and enjoying this state I live in...something I haven't done in...well just about forever. 

It was a hard choice, but I already feel better about it. I don't feel regret. I love Disney...I should say I love to visit Disney. I'll keep it that way and I'm perfectly happy with that. 

Disney Update

So some news.

I finally got the e-mail I've been waiting for. I'm gonna go on a rant here though first. So I got an e-mail that I didn't get one of the jobs I just randomly applied too. I wasn't too let down about that, though. However, everyone I know that had applied to the DCP had already heard. I was starting to give up.
I got season tickets to shows that are happening from December-March and well now...

I got offered a job in merchandise. It didn't tell me where I would be working, which I kinda hate. I would get $9 an hour which is only a bit less than I make right now, which isn't too bad. Reading the description for it and it sounds like it could be selling stuff or just stocking...maybe both. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about it all.

I am really excited; however, I still am just unsure.

I can burn water. How am I suppose to live by myself...and without my cat?

Brave; what it means.

You are so brave and quiet, I forget you are suffering. - Ernest Hemingway

This quote has been floating around a lot lately and I feel like it goes along with how I've been feeling. I know so many people that have had depression or at least depressed at one point in their life. Yes, we do all have those off days where we're down and out, but true depressed is much deeper than just one bad day. It can last weeks, months, years, a life time and it will haunt you.

So why are these people the strongest people I know? They get out of bed, they go through their day and hardly ever will you ever see how much they are truly suffering.

Now, I feel like that is brave. 

However, getting help...I feel like that is one of the bravest things anyone can do.

I know I started off using depression as the example, but getting help for anything is brave. Admitting that you cannot do something by yourself and getting help is amazing. Admitting that you know something is wrong to the point where you need to get help and then you go and get that help...that's brave and something to be proud of.

It might start small. It might be something you talk to only one or two people about, but I don't think people realizing that talking about your issues or problems to anyone is a huge and wonderful step.

In getting help, you are brave and strong, it is something to be proud of.

Be proud. Be happy. Get help. Be brave.