New Year. Yay.

Most people at this time of year live by the saying "A New Year, A New Me". A blanket phrase that works for people. It's easy and simple and thing to say.
However, I don't want a new me.

Of course, like everyone else, I have things I want to change about myself. Like most, I want to lose some weight and get in shape.

In the past few post I've talked about how great things have been and today I realized something.
Everyone has things going on, we all know that; however, life, most likely, isn't as bad as it seems.
I know that sounds terrible, or, at least, it could be taken terribly. I'm not trying to down play anyone's pain, past, troubles, or anything like that, don't get me wrong about that. However, I know a lot of people that take something that is bad and turn it into something that is so overly terrible.
Long story short, water off a duck's back.

So yes, a new year is coming; however, no to a new me...a better me? Maybe. Hopefully.
The new year will have a lot of ups and downs, I will grow stronger, I will have weak moments, but I will stay true to myself.

Happy Holidays.

Well, since it's the holidays I feel like I need a simple and happy post. Life has been crazy the past few weeks and it has made me realize just how lucky I am.

Sure, I still will have days when I'll forget how lucky I am, or I'll still feel alone in my world, but deep down I know I can never forget.

I wrote about the power of social of media. Long story short, that's still going on. I'm pretty sure if you really wanted to get something done, all you have to do is fine the right person to talk too. Social media can make or break you in a matter of a few seconds...even less time than that. So always keep that in mind when you posting a status on Facebook or even a simple blog post.
No matter, I'm still happy and proud of myself for all that I've done...and to think...it's all been done via Twitter.

My boyfriend...my sweet...sweet...kind heart-ed man. I always knew I was lucky to have him. As soon as we started dating I knew I was lucky. A sexy Irish firefighter, who I got to call mine, was just that....mine. However, I'll be the first to admit the whole firefighter thing got old, quickly. Yes, I support him and yes, I love that he wants to serve and protect. (haha..I found that way too funny). However, I also saw what it has done to him. I'm very lucky he's still alive, I'm very lucky he's still got his spirit...but most of all, I'm glad he's mine. He has taken care of me, he's hung around my friends and he has gone beyond his "call of duty" as a boyfriend. He also puts up with all of my crap and anyone who does that is just simply awesome.

All of my co-workers. I walked into work and my mailbox and desk was covered in gifts, cards and food all celebrating the holiday...well Christmas. I celebrate Christmas, so whatever you would like to call it is fine, but that's what I do. So just saying. Santa, snow men and glitter are all covering my desk. Everyone in the office has been so wonderful. I've been fighting off this weird cold thing and for the second time in almost five years, I called off work the other day...everyone has been asking if I'm okay and checking in on me. We do cards for people, get well cards, happy birthday cards, almost anything you can think of cards, and it is all amazing. Plus...they keep complimenting my outfit...so who doesn't love that! Ego boost! (not to cover all the other wonderful things we do for each other).

All around, I get to say I'm lucky. I'm lucky for my cat, all his wonderful cuddles when he just knows, I'm lucky for my family for dealing with me and putting up with me, I guess same goes for my friends, but honestly, life hasn't gone the way I thought it would, but as the holidays come and 2015 is about to end, I get to say I'm happy and luckily.

Things might not be perfect, but I have so much to be happy and thankful for. I only hope everyone else can find the same things in life.

Your Story Isn't Over

I've written before about how I use to abuse myself. I will have to admit sometimes I am still hard on myself, more than I should be. However, I know people who are still stuck in this loop.
I get to say I moved past it. I moved past harming myself.

Does that make my story over?

It was for attention, mostly. I did like the control of it. It was something I could control. I could control the things that were happening for the first time in my life. That was something that felt better, even through the pain, the control felt better.

I've talked to my boyfriend about some of this and he's opened up some about the way he feels like he is in control of his body. He has different ways than I did, which I'm thankful for; however, in the end it will cause more problems than not.

He was talking about "Project Semicolon". I had heard about it and knew people who supported it, but other than that I never really paid much attention to it.

Today I was looking it up and reading more about it.

This is from their website:

"We envision love and hope and we declare that hope is alive;

We envision a society that openly addresses the struggle with mental illness, suicide and addiction; 

We envision a conversation embraced by churches and addressed with love;

We envision a society that sees their value and embraces it; 

We envision a community that comes together and stands together in support of one another;

We envision a world where an escape is not found within drugs or alcohol;

We envision a world where self-destruction is no longer a escape to be used;

We envision a revolution of LOVE and declare that our stories are not over yet;"

-Amy Bleuel

Founder & President

Just reading that alone I was pulled in. It connected me into a new sight. It brought back these feelings when I thought all hope for me was lost. I was lucky enough to be found, found by my own self. I know some people aren't that lucky. However, like it says on Project Semicolon, your story isn't over. The point of ";" in general. It's so small, simple, but beautiful. 

Read more about Project Semicolon here: http://www.projectsemicolon.org/