For The Love of The Game

*If you don't know some of these terms for roller derby, all you have to do is read some of my older post and it will all be explained in there.*

Part of me missing roller derby. There. I said it. It's been two weeks and I already feel so out of the loop. My wave (remember what a wave is guys?!) is taking their skills tests. Whoever passes will be able to fully play derby in full beast mode. Of course, people won't pass, and that will be cool, too. Its' really hard. It's seriously hours of hard core skating, showing off everything you just spent the last 18 weeks working on. They should be beyond proud of themselves. BEYOND. Anyone who is willing to join a contact sport, trains for 18 weeks, then puts it all on the line....awesome. Words can't describe how great it is to be have been able to watch everyone.

Then I think about if I want to get back up on skates. I've had far to much time to think about it and freak myself out of skating again. I need my new brace, as I keep saying, but bills bills bills. Let me tell you how great it is to be an adult.

I'm not sure how some people do it. I look at my sister. She works....holy poop does she work. She also has a six year old, a husband, pets, and she plays derby. I have no idea how she does it. I tell her that, too. Like seriously though. I don't understand people that can work, go to school, have a life...blah blah blah. It makes me feel so lazy inside!!!
However, through everything my sister broke her leg, was off skates for months and still found ways to go to practice and get back on skates and kick derby's butt.
There are many girls who break things and get back on skates and they are some people who never get hurt at all, just like any sport.

However, with that being the case...I wish I would get out of my head. I love NSOing, I feel like I'm good at it and I'm truly learning the game, which is awesome! Those knee taps though...they're holding me back from skating. I'm so scared I'll come down and never get back up. I'm scared that I'll roll my ankle again and this time it'll be even worse. After all, my ankle still bothers me. Poop.


Anyone else feel this way about things? I mean, it's just a love/hate relationship, but there's something about it. I know I shouldn't let fear stop me from doing something I want to, but then I love to NSO and that way I can still be around it, without having to actually skate.
I'm a baby.

Back to the start of this whole thing. Watching my wave come to an end it's almost surreal. I can't believe it's been 18 weeks and these people have come so far with skating and their skills. It's mind blowing and amazing. I'm just happy to be apart of the overall picture.

Derby Day Two--Technically One.

Yesterday was the first day of fresh meat.

Roller derby has steps like most things. There is raw meat, which was what my first day was. Raw meat is a free practice. They will show you derby stance, how to fall, and how to stop. That's pretty much it. Now that was on Wednesday...Sunday morning I was finally able to walk up and down stairs without too much pain. Here's the kicker, fresh meat started Sunday.

Fresh meat is where you start to pay. My league it's $35 per month. (That, of course, if after paying for all your gear and your $70 WFTDA insurance) . However, you're not just paying with money.

Fresh meat, from what I have seen so far, is faster pace with less mercy. Eighteen weeks of nothing, but learning everything one would ever need to know about playing roller derby. Sounds easy enough. The girls that I've watched before make it look easier enough...until I got up on skates.

My sister told me by the end of practice I was looking better and more confident. (such an ego boost!)

I felt pretty good this time...it wasn't a cry day. Of course, because it wasn't a cry day, I'm thinking Wednesday I will be flat out down with derby once again.

From 10-noon is practice. Grab some food. Relax for a moment. Then from 2-5 was open skate. I didn't fall during practice, but I fell during open skate. I found out what wheels really do and how they stick differently to different floors. My skate stopped and I fell. GOOD THING--I fell forward.

By the end of it all, my body was finally giving out and I was feeling weak (not to mention how smelly I was)

• Side note: You will smell A LOT playing derby. Your pads will smell, you feet and skates will smell, and you in general will smell. Places you didn't know could even sweat will sweat. You will become gross. Your everything will become gross. In general, plan on being beyond disgusting. It may not happen right away, but it will happen.  

I was getting down on myself listening to some of the girls around the room. They were talking about how they didn't feel any or much pain after Wednesday. Now, you're told not to compare yourself to any skater, but let's face it...it's hard. After getting a bit down, some other girls starting talking about how sore they were! It sounds like a weird thing to be happy about, but it was pretty nice knowing I wasn't alone. 

However, the first practice was much like what we did in raw meat...other than the whole five minute endurance thing. I was group B so I got to do the following: down on one knee--put the other knee down--get up again and do that 20 times, do 20 bicycles, five push-ups, all on skates, as much as you can get down in five minutes. After that it was time to skate. Skate as many laps (safely, seeing as being safe is a huge part of derby; no matter what people think) as possible in five minutes. I was proud of myself--I did a little over ten laps! Ten laps is not bad for someone who never wore quad-skates...not to mention my last time on roller blades was middle school!

There are all different body types that join derby. There's tiny to large people. I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle; however, I am extremely out of shape. It'll get better...that's what people keep telling me and that's what I keep telling myself. 

It will hurt.

It'll be okay. 

Don't compare yourself.

Focus on your own improvement.