It's been to long

Well then I feel ashamed that I have let my blog just slip out of my fingers. I am going to an MD on Tuesday to finally (hopefully) get the ball rolling about my ankle. It still has it's days, but I can get into my derby stance now, which I'm THRILLED about.
However, the more I NSO the more I'm just starting to love that side of things. Skating and NSOing is possible, but it is harder....I guess. Maybe.
Anyways, the important part is right now I can NSO, Saturday is the season opener and my shirt is so cute. I finally get to go by Malice, "Malice in Wonderland" of course is my derbs name. Calling derby derbs has got to be one of my favorite things, fyi.


Anywho, I went on a weekend trip to Ohio with my sister and my niece for derby. It was a blast. On top of that I started talking to this wonderful person, who I can now call boyfriend...still weird, but we're both pretty weird. I guess it works out. The weekend was a blast, I needed it. I started talking to more of, not only my derby girls, but people from other teams! It's amazing to listen to some of the girls and how many of them just love the sport and love the other team. It's truly an amazing community that derby has provided to people.
I could truly write forever on how much derby has changed people lives...maybe I will do that one day.


Needless to say, things are pretty good on this. Turns out having to turn down my DCP just might have been what was best.


Things have a weird way of working out like that...don't they?

Burning Questions

So lately I have noticed something. I feel like I have talked...well graced this question/topic before, but I really need to get it out there. I have noticed that most people I know support gender and sexuality equality. I want to say, I'm proud to know so many supporters.

With that though comes this...why is it still such a big deal?! Why isn't it just something normal now. Like, are you bothering me? Are you hurting me? NO! You're going about your business causing no harm, just being gay. (trying through some punning humor in this....working?) Now, it is different when you have that ones that ruin it for everyone, but you have that for anything. There is always a jerk. Even in your group of friends you have at least one jerk!

Get with the times people.

With that, I know some trans people and there is one thing I've come to notice. (in talking with them and others!) That is, if you don't know if you're comfortable enough to ask a question, or if you're unsure if it'll offend them...DON'T ASK. Like, seriously. I hate it when I have a zit and someone is like "what's that? Something is on your face." YEAH THANKS I KNOW. Seriously. Did you have to point that out?
The inter-web is a wonderful thing. USE IT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING.

Again, this doesn't effect everyone. I do know some people that are so open about everything, they don't care. However, as a good rule of thumb, just keep it in mind that if you're unsure if it's okay to ask...it might not be okay to ask.
Now one of my very good friends is going through a transition and I know I can ask him anything and everything and he will never get upset. Then again, I know a few others that I'm friends with, but I do watch what I ask out of respect.
Another thing to keep in mind: it's all in the way you ask! It's easy to tell when someone truly is curious and wants to know and when someone is taking a hit. Please nice. Seriously.


I don't know. That's just been something on my mind lately. People are so rude. They see things in one light and that's that. Just because something is the way you like it, or the way you do things doesn't mean it's the only way.

A short.

Derby derby derby.

I took my LOA or leave of absence. I was hoping I wouldn't have too, but it was time to come with terms, I might not be skating for a while.
With that being said....NSOing is wonderful.

This past week I learned how to score keep! It's a lot easier than I thought it would be (good think I know most of the hand signals from the refs already), but it does take math skills and lets' just say...I don't math well.

Long story short, I'm happy to be doing something with derby.

On the other side of things, while NSO-ing I had a really good talk about gender and sexuality. Derby people just get it. I love that.

Skater Down

Yesterday I thought about not going to practice again, after all, they were just taking pictures. I felt like I didn't belong in any of the pictures. Do I go with the fresh meat? Do I go with the NSO? Do I go anywhere? Well, long story short I went.

As soon as I walked in I hear this wailing. Everyone went down on one knee and I saw her. One of my favorite's on the ground just screaming. I've never heard someone screaming so loudly. I walked into the bathroom (she was already being tended too) and a girl right behind me rushing in saying that a girl was down and requesting a vet skater.

Not to long after that the ambulance was there, taking her away. A girl rushed into the bathroom feeling sick because her anxiety spiked.

It's hard. It's easy to really say that roller derby is a complete mind f*ck. A group of you were all just working on the same thing, you could've been feeling like you were finally getting it and then BAM. Out of no where someone is on the ground hurt...extremely hurt from something you were just doing.

I was lucky. I just had a sprain. It's hard enough wanting to even work out. I want to get on skates, but knowing that I'll have to do knee-taps which is how I got hurt...it's scary. Everyone who has gotten hurt has been there. Getting back up isn't easy, but it's what one has to do.

I was watching tv today and there was a quote, one that I've heard before and every time it makes me think. "Everyone falls down, but only a true hero gets back up."

It is such a strong statement and I think it's one that can carry us in whatever we do. Maybe you don't see yourself as a hero, but if you keep getting back up and you keep trying one day you'll go somewhere and you never know who you will inspire on your way.


As for the skater down? She has a total of five fractures. Three in her ankle and two in her leg. She will need surgery and at least 8-12 wees of being off that ankle/leg. The plus side is watching the whole team (fresh meats and vets) come together and help her and her family. People have already started volunteering to get her car home, take her food, babysit for her...whatever she needs. That's the meaning of roller derby.

As for me? I came home last night laughing, happy! I remember why I was so excited about joining in the first place. It wasn't to get in shape, (even though you will....you will gain weight, but it will be all mussel!) it wasn't to say I was doing it. It was to do something with my sister, to push myself into something new, and to start something where everyone has your back.
 Surrounding yourself by the best people can only help you in being the best you.