Missing Someone

This is a post I've been thinking about for a while.
It's all about missing someone, but not just anyone.

Lately I've been thinking about the people in your life that you're so happy they're gone. Your life was changed because of them--some days it's for the better and some days it's not.

How about when someone new comes into your life?

Things seemingly get better and you think about the other person less and less.
Of course, most of the time, you can't avoid them forever.

So...what do you do then?

Not too long ago I thought about a person who is no longer in my life (for the better). However, thinking about them made me stop. Why was I thinking about them? Did I miss them? Why?

It made me think about my boyfriend as well. Does he think about people in his past? People he says he hates, but he could still think about them...right? I am a jealous person, even if I try not to be. I think about others, even when I don't mean to, so how can I be so jealous of him thinking about others?

Does anyone else do this? Like seriously.

I'm fine and dandy and my life is great then BAM, that stupid random person pops in your head or on facebook or some random way and you look at them and think about that moment when you were actually happy being around them.

Don't get me wrong, I would never cheat. I would've even think about cheating. However, my mind just races away with weird thoughts of the past. Once I come to...well I realize that the person in the past is there for a reason. They're in the past for a reason. That's always so important for a reason.

If people are meant to be in your life they will be. I try to believe  that things happen for a reason, some times that is easier said than done, but I do try. I'm sure most people do. However, it's not fair when you think about someone you really don't want to. Yes, I understand life isn't fair, but it doesn't really make things easier.

So, long story short. Why do I do this?! Please tell me I'm not the only one.
The past can stay in the past any time now. KTHX!

Your Story Isn't Over

I've written before about how I use to abuse myself. I will have to admit sometimes I am still hard on myself, more than I should be. However, I know people who are still stuck in this loop.
I get to say I moved past it. I moved past harming myself.

Does that make my story over?

It was for attention, mostly. I did like the control of it. It was something I could control. I could control the things that were happening for the first time in my life. That was something that felt better, even through the pain, the control felt better.

I've talked to my boyfriend about some of this and he's opened up some about the way he feels like he is in control of his body. He has different ways than I did, which I'm thankful for; however, in the end it will cause more problems than not.

He was talking about "Project Semicolon". I had heard about it and knew people who supported it, but other than that I never really paid much attention to it.

Today I was looking it up and reading more about it.

This is from their website:

"We envision love and hope and we declare that hope is alive;

We envision a society that openly addresses the struggle with mental illness, suicide and addiction; 

We envision a conversation embraced by churches and addressed with love;

We envision a society that sees their value and embraces it; 

We envision a community that comes together and stands together in support of one another;

We envision a world where an escape is not found within drugs or alcohol;

We envision a world where self-destruction is no longer a escape to be used;

We envision a revolution of LOVE and declare that our stories are not over yet;"

-Amy Bleuel

Founder & President

Just reading that alone I was pulled in. It connected me into a new sight. It brought back these feelings when I thought all hope for me was lost. I was lucky enough to be found, found by my own self. I know some people aren't that lucky. However, like it says on Project Semicolon, your story isn't over. The point of ";" in general. It's so small, simple, but beautiful. 

Read more about Project Semicolon here: http://www.projectsemicolon.org/