Part One: Let's Begin.

"To thine own self be true"

--William Shakespeare

 Never change who you are.

Such a bold statement. Not only ourselves, but as a society, we change. Sometimes it's good and sometimes...well...not so great. However, change is something that is bound to happen. 

With that being said, I can change and still stay true to myself. Sure my ideas and thoughts may change, but  tis life. Things change. People change. All you can do is hope that change is for the better.

What should really be explored is how do some people change for the better and some...not so much. I believe it's the world we place around us. Just go on Facebook, you will see post saying "since when did this become hotter than this?" with a picture of a model now verses one from the 40's or 50's. If you look at men's clothing the sizes are based on actual sizes, measurements. Women's clothing, at least most of them, change with the brands. In my closet right now I have bottoms ranging from size 8 to 14 and shirts from small to extra-large.

Now that's just sizing issues that can lead to having body issues. That's not to talk about feeling one gender and being another, being under weight, being over weight, seeing movie and TV stars, comparing yourself to others...the list could go on and on about how we're effected.

Lately it seems that companies and brands are trying to get people to understand and realize that all bodies are beautiful. It's slightly hard to realize that when it's been pushed into our minds for so long that we're not okay. We don't look okay. Who we are isn't okay. Why? What can we do about? Is there anything we can do? Can we talk about it? I think we can. These people are anonymous, even to myself.  Some of them didn't mind sharing their names as well as their stories, but I think it's better, at least for now, to keep everything anonymous.

One person speaks of PCOS. It's a common illness that effects most women. PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It effects a lot of things in a woman's body and can cause issues in losing weight, having children and more. Learn more about here: http://www.webmd.com/women/tc/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-topic-overview. I encourage woman to get this checked out. I, myself, finding out I had PCOS about a year ago, it makes sense. I feel so much better now that I know what's going on and got the proper medication.

Now, with all of that being said that was all focused on mostly weight issues. There was some of the whole "not being comfortable" thing, but let's face it. Most people you talk to will tell you their body image issues come from a place of feeling like they don't fit into the "cookie cutter" design.  What about the other time of mind f*cks? What if you're simply trapped in the wrong body? That's a whole other set of issues one has to face. The sad part is, we're all facing the same issues. Feeling crappy about our looks and how we feel about ourselves. If this is true then why is something like lipo, Botox, or even tummy lifts, not to mention the other way around where people try to gain weigh to keep from being called names, some things no one bats an eye at, but changing your gender to feel better is frowned upon? Now, you may have your own thoughts and that's perfectly fine. I'm not asking you to agree or disagree with what anyone has said, including myself, I just want to look at the facts. Why is it okay for some people to get surgery's to feel better about themselves, no matter what for, and not others? Makes sense? I didn't think so.

This leaves me wondering when we start realizing that we're different? Is it something that's always there? Is it something that we learn over time?

Person A:  "There wasn't ever an "ah-ha!" first moment that I realized I had body issues. I feel like it's just something I've always dealt with. I distinctly remember being conscious about my insecurities, for the first time, when I got into my first "real" relationship, when I was 17, and I was actually considering have sex. Then the flood of "What if he doesn't...", "What if he thinks..." and other "what if" questions overwhelmed me."

Person B: "I first started realizing I had body issues when I was in the 7th grade. I didn't have any friends. I didn't have any siblings to teach me the right way to eat, or dress. All the other girls were skinny and wearing pink and bright colors while I was fat and tall and wearing mostly black clothing because I was embarrassed to dress girly."

 Person C: "When I was about 12 or 13. I would watch Mary-Kate and Ashley movies and sitcoms and compare my foreign structure to theirs, thinking I was "fat", when my actual bones were wider than theirs and my thighs can never have a thigh gap even in size 2 jeans. I've finally realized I'm just built differently, but still am not 100% with my current weight/size."

Person D: "I suppose it was when I was 10 years old, a family member told me that I looked like I was three months pregnant. I was used to being bullied at school and I even was back stabbed by my only friend, but that comment stuck with me. I'm 22 now and grew a lot taller, six feet tall to be exact. Now, you still can tell that I'm overweight, but no one can guess my weight, somehow it's hidden through my height. It followed me to when I was in high school. I would dodge mirrors because anytime I saw my own reflection. Immediately got nauseous and was entirely repulsed by it. I started starving myself. There was a point where I didn't eat anything for three days and I ended up dry heaving in the girl's bathroom. Although, I wasn't the only one doing that though. A ton of my classmates were bulimic and anorexic. Looking back, it's really sad that it was such a common thing. At that point I HATED MYSELF. I hated that hating myself, it's the worst feeling ever. I had severe depression that made me go into counseling and still deal with it till this day."

Person E:  "I first consciously realized it when I was in middle school. A friend commented on how I wear baggy clothes a lot. I wondered why and figured I was trying to hide myself."

Person F: "There is no time in my life I can remember before body issues. I was always too short, too chubby, my hair was wrong, I wore the wrong thing, I wore it the wrong way, I was bigger than everyone else my age. The list goes on."

Person  G: "Middle school. 7th grade volleyball. I was just getting to the puberty stage and was one of the last girls to shave their legs. I got made fun of for it and that night I asked for a razor. From then on, I was comparing anything and everything I did. I compared looks and body types."

Person H: "My body "issues" sort of came in phases. First there was a complete identity denial: my mom insisted that I wouldn't be a "slut or dyke" on her watch (this was the way she described any girls who dressed up or wore makeup), so I found it easiest to just be devoid of any identity at all. I dressed in jeans and shirts. There was a good year period where I just wore grey shirts and jeans. My uniform kept me from being noticed in middle school and kept her ire at a minimum.

Next, my body issues manifested not as anything related to identity, but more that feeling like my meatsack body was out to ruin everything. I struggled with health issues into my mid-20s that filled me with resentment and anger. Here I was, trying to work hard and my body would undermine my efforts with debilitating pain. I was really down on myself but not because of my physical appearance.

In my late 20s though, my health stabilized and I was able to focus on being my authentic self. That self looks and feels pretty genderfluid. That self a little fluffy, but doesn't think about it much. I don't diet, never have. I don't worry about how others think I look. I still rarely wear makeup. I was/am often way too busy being anxious about everything else in my life to worry about how I appear. While this isn't an "issue", it's the latest phase of my relationship with my body."

Person I: “Ever since I can remember I have had some degree of body issue. Of course every day is different; I think that is the hardest part. One day I can feel untouchable – drop dead gorgeous – and others, I just want to hide my face, my body, my hair. I don’t think hiding my issues help me any, those days I wear a hoodie - in a way this is calming, but at the same time – it is accepting defeat, accepting that I want to hide.”

Notice anything? Anything at all? Anything that all of these stories and people share? How about how they noticed a change young, about puberty stage....then it stayed with them? Why did it stay with them? Why do people call it a phrase if it stays with you?