Things just kinda happen

With events from this past week I've been thinking about everything from the past. The worst part is that Miley Cyrus has been stuck in my head. "I Miss You", I should say. I'm not sure why that songs still out, well I do, but it's something I'd rather not talk about.

Good things this week though, I've been closer to people who I have missed, or who I have wanted to get to know better. I'm very excited about that. I decided to take back my life and for everything that stresses me out, I've been kicking back with something that has been making me happy.

Yesterday it was shopping and my good friend I hadn't seen in a while, the day before that it was a Grumpy Cat coffee, my cat, things I like about myself, today it was the sun, my lunch, eating lunch with another one of my good friends. Truly focusing on the small things that will be the best things about my day.

One of the biggest things that made me happy was that I got two shirts that were a size SMALL! (Then it made me laugh because at the same store, I got a shirt that was a large...seriously, what is wrong with women's sizing?!)

Malice front of things, I still haven't heard back about being able to use "Malice in Wonderland". I have found out I'm terrible at waiting for things. Patience isn't a bad thing, embrace it. <---sounds words of advice for life in general.

One of my friends quoted something off my blog and it made me stop and think. It was a really good quote and I was proud of myself that it came from my mind. Like seriously, mind blown moment.
I'm determined to write a huge long post about everything that's been going on, but for now I'll leave you all with a little story of my life.

When my mom got sick for the second time, I went into a shell. I stopped eating and just went through the motions of life without really living. It is something I regret, but here's how I'm feeling now about it all. I can admit that I stopped eating. I can admit I had a problem. I can admit that I feel better now and that, although some days I don't eat much, I am eating. I'm healthier, I want to be healthier. My step-father and I were talking about my eating habits (he brings up how little I eat almost all the time) and he just said "you were quite angry there for a while." It was such a simple statement, but the words ran so deep within me. I was angry, I was beyond angry! The one thing I could control, eating and the boys I dated. It's weird looking back at it. I had to be dating someone or I would go insane. I just needed someone to be there to tell me it was all going to be okay. It took some time before I realized I was the one needing to tell myself it would be okay. I pulled myself out of my funk. Now, I will admit I rush into relationship, for the excitement of someone else's attention. It isn't always the best thing, but it's me. I can slow down, but the adventure awaits to far to exciting. People say I'm young, I have time, it's true. People also say my mom is young...so young. She is young and yet, she can't do things I get to do every day. I get up out of bed, I shower, I dress myself, I go to the bathroom by myself. These things are things people don't think about, but I do. So when an adventure comes knocking it's something I jump at.
It doesn't mean I'm not scared. I am. It doesn't mean I'm not thinking. I am. It's just that young for some people ends with high school. It ends when you can finally say "I'll be okay" to yourself and you mean it. It ends when you start eating. It ends when you start loving yourself and living in the moment.
If that makes me crazy, so be it. If that means I move a little to fast or even to slow sometimes, so be it. I'm just being me.
We all have things going on. We all have hard times, good times, and all times in between. Everyone handles things differently. The only thing you can do is know that one day you'll be able to say "I'm okay." It won't fix things, you'll still be broken and it'll be a fight every day, but it'll be okay. You're not alone. You'll never be alone. Find the same things that make you happy through out the day and then one day, before you know it, you'll just be....okay. Sometimes okay is simply perfect.